This column is a word-for-word transcript of an actual message received by Critic’s online dating profile. You can’t make this shit up.
Subject: Be Our Trophy
Hi M
Stop, read the deatils at the least if will make you smile with Mischievous delite
Ok, yes I’m older a tad heavier than maybe your ideal man but tomorrow night I’m to experience my first ever bi experience with another guy abd wanting to make it memorible as been thinking about it for years. He’s joining me at mine for a naked ps3 sesh where the winner decides who gets to do who to what.
Its to be mutual masturbation and oral for us. What you do on joinging is up to you but think it would be fun for you to come along - suck me off in competition let me decide who gives the best head and the winner is the one’s who’s ass I claim. Or vica versa - you could claim ours and with the aid of a few toys well.
So if your of an open mind. Off all day tomorrow if your’d like to get in some advanced practice
Mike