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Talking loudly and incessantly at people, sadly, can’t always solve some problems. Here are some private issues answered, so you don’t have to talk to people you actually know about your sordid secrets.

So my best mate just came out, what if he has a crush on me? What do I do? I’m not into him!
He’s probably not into you, either! Jesus H Christchurch, are you attracted to every female friend of yours? Sorry, sorry. This is just such a common question, mostly received from people who are not Fabio. He’s the same old mate of yours that he was before he came out. If he’s flirting outrageously with you, yeah, maybe he’s got a crush! But friends can move past that, right? Talk it out with pizza, the world’s best mediator.

When should I lose my v-card? I’m not in high school anymore, and I’m not sure what’s expected of me?
Losing your virginity can be a big deal for some (and for others it isn’t, which is also fine, because the concept of “virginity” is mostly socially constructed and deeply flawed – but that’s a rant for another day). What you choose to do with another person (or yourself) and when you choose to do it are dependent on how comfortable the two (or one, or five, whatever) of you feel. You don’t have to have sex ever, or you can have it on the first date! It’s completely up to you, and anyone who judges your decision can fuck right off. Don’t pressure anyone into sexual activity. Oh, and stay safe, use protection, don’t share needles etc. etc.

I think I might have an STD or something. Can I get that checked at Student Health? Is it awkward?
Yes, you can go to Student Health and no, it won’t be awkward. When I got my first cervical smear I asked them to scrape a little extra for an STI check, and made a point of telling the nurse that her small talk about the wonderful weather we were having wasn’t distracting from the metal speculum stretching my insides open (this does not happen in your average STI inspection, dw). Speaking openly about whatever’s awkward for you will fill the silence, if not totally lessen the tension. The team at Student Health is friendly and efficient, and they seem to be pleased when students take responsibility for their sexual health, so go on, kid! Make their day! Tip: drink water before you go, as there is a high chance you’ll have to pee into a cup.