Lez Feminables | Issue 12
ALL The Flags
Why can’t bi people just choose already?
Sometimes folk see bisexuality as a kind of “transition” stage, and for a few people, yeah, it can be a way to ease into gaydom. Some people might be going through one of those infamous “phases” parents like to whine about – this is a real thing! Sometimes, we’re “curious” – that’s just how people are. However, many people are legitimately attracted to both men and women. How is that more weird than residing at one pole of the homo-hetero spectrum? Sexuality, like gender, isn’t a binary thing. There are the two ends of the spectrum, and a whole lot of sliding space in between.
Do you really think asexuals exist?
I do! Perhaps you can’t imagine life without the blushin’ of your muffin on sighting a sexually stimulating person? Well, I feel you there. However, I also know that I have no interest in cars. Their appearance does not excite me, nor do I ever have the urge to drive a Lamborghini. I suspect it’s the same for asexuals when it comes to sexual attraction. Disclaimer: as I am not asexual, I can’t be sure that this is a great analogy.
So are asexuals doomed to be alone forever?
Just because someone’s asexual, it doesn’t mean they’re aromantic – they can still have very fulfilling relationships. Some are aromantic as well as asexual and actually, you could even be aromantic, but not asexual. I wouldn’t say asexuals are “doomed” to be alone forever, because if one does end up like this, they could actually be pretty happy about it.
What’s the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality? Isn’t it the same thing?
An excellent question! Bisexuality is an attraction to the genders – “male” and “female.” Pansexuals are more Time Lord and wibbly-wobbly, basically being attracted to just … people. Male, female, third gender, intersex, androgyne, etc. Many people who call themselves “bisexual” are actually pan – it’s just easier to avoid explaining it all.
Asexuals, bisexuals, and pansexuals all have something in common, though: lots of people still deny they’re even real. If someone identifies as Other than the norm, it’s hard enough – don’t make it harder by telling them they’re non-existent.