Archive
Outgoing Presidential Address
Posted 8:25pm Sunday 13th October 2024 by Keegan Wells
Tēnā koutou, Wow! What a year! We laughed, we cried, we paddled the flooded Leith, we got a new plinth, and had a lot of $4 lunch along the way. In one of my final acts of dictatorship, I am stealing these two pages of Critic Te Ārohi. I have lived many different Read more...
Choose Your Own Adventure: Exam Procrastination Edition
Posted 7:39pm Sunday 13th October 2024 by Nicky Patterson
1. The end of the year has rolled around once again and there’s nothing you’d rather be doing right now than studying for your 60% exam. But before you do, what’s the harm in just taking a little preemptive brain break? As you look around from your freshly obtained perch in Read more...
The Game of Life, But It’s Just Your Summer 24/25
Posted 6:28pm Sunday 13th October 2024 by Molly Smith-Soppet
Answer these questions and we’ll tell you what you will spend your summer doing. 1. What is the best Campus Shop pie? Mince & Cheese Steak & Cheese Butter Chicken Pepper Steak Veggie Korma Spinach & Feta Roll 2. What is your go-to music genre for Read more...
The Game of Love
Posted 7:29pm Sunday 6th October 2024 by Molly Smith-Soppet
Everything I Know About (Platonic) Love
Posted 7:16pm Sunday 6th October 2024 by Ellie Bennett
I came to university thinking I’d find The One. I was obsessed with the idea that I’d lock eyes with someone across the lecture theatre and be swept into this great, all-consuming romance; that I’d leave here after three years with not only a degree, but a soulmate. That’s Read more...
Homo-geneous
Posted 9:27am Sunday 6th October 2024 by Monty O’Rielly
I don’t even let Georgie get a word out. “It happened again.” They blink, trying to catch up with what I said. “What happened again?” “It. It happened again.” Georgie sighs, “You really have to be more clear.” “She had been fucking Read more...
The Official Dunner Lover Test
Posted 8:31am Sunday 6th October 2024 by Nina Brown
Find out where you rate on the scale from loveless hermit to hopeless romantic. In the pursuit of a crush or during a courtship, have you ever… Used dating apps? Deleted dating apps for them? Stalked their mum's Facebook for pictures of them? Gone through their tagged Read more...
Opinion: She’s Not Your Manic Pixie Dream Girl(friend), She Has ADHD
Posted 11:16am Saturday 5th October 2024 by Jodie Evans
The manic pixie dream girl doesn’t do small talk, only enigmatic discussions about the universe and its infinite possibilities. She stargazes from abandoned rooftops, sings out loud in the supermarket, and writes poetry on bathroom stalls. Her love language is dancing barefoot in the rain. She Read more...
More Gum Than a Wrigley’s Factory: Southern Sounds Reviewed
Posted 5:38pm Saturday 28th September 2024 by Hanna Varrs
Start to finish, baby. Critic Te Ārohi set off to review Southern Sounds from 2pm to 10pm – the full ride. This review was collated from a series of voice memos, videos, photos, and interviews with the few punters we convinced to speak to us. “Buckle up Dunners,” Read more...
Will It Frisbee: A Critic Te Ārohi Experiment
Posted 4:38pm Saturday 28th September 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet
Abstract Ever found yourself zoning out staring at an object, wondering how far you could throw it? Yeah, that. Welcome to Critic Does Sport: Frisbee Edition. Introduction We assembled the Uni’s best and brightest (your bona fide ranga reporter and our only friend who can throw Read more...
Run Club Tinder
Posted 4:34pm Saturday 28th September 2024 by Jodie Evans
If your Instagram feed is full of Lulu-clad twenty-somethings dashing around Dunedin’s streets at the crack of fucking dawn, you’re not the only one. Run clubs are cropping up everywhere. Hailed by loyalists as an energising route to meeting others in the running community, there are now Read more...
Flat Fungi: Peziza? Do you mean pizza?
Posted 8:22pm Sunday 22nd September 2024 by Imogen Harris
A second-year 6-man Dundas flat has made the alarming discovery of a large rubbery mushroom sprouting from their carpet. What is it? Is it delicious or poisonous? Friend or foe? And what does it mean for the state of their flat? Critic Te Ārohi consults a Botany student to find Read more...
The Great Annual Critic Bar Review
Posted 8:18pm Sunday 22nd September 2024 by Nina Brown
Critic Te Ārohi once again pitted local bars against each other in our annual review. We chose sixteen heavy-hitters and put them to a vote in four rounds of polls on Critic’s Instagram story – democracy at its finest. After a nail-biting semi-final between last year’s champ Read more...
OUSA Student Support: Asking for a Friend
Posted 8:15pm Sunday 22nd September 2024 by OUSA Student Support
Student life isn’t always easy. For OUSA Mental Health and Well-being Week, Student Support answers your questions with advice on everything from how to deal with loneliness to giving a woman an orgasm. You can find OUSA Student Support at 262 Leith Walk behind the purple door for Read more...
Ngā Wai-hono-i-te-pō and the Kīngitanga Movement
Posted 4:26am Monday 16th September 2024 by Molly Smith-Soppet
Shockwaves reverberated through the motu on Friday, August 30th, as Aotearoa learned of the passing of Kīngi Tūheitia Pōtatou Te Wherowhero VII, the Māori King. Less than a week later, the Kīngitanga named its new leader: Te Arikinui Kuīni Ngā Read more...
The Plastics: “So if you’re Māori, why are you white?”
Posted 4:06am Monday 16th September 2024 by Jack Ruddenklau
White Māori. Fake Māori. Plastic Māori. If you’re Māori, chances are you’ve heard these labels thrown around at some point – whether it’s a poke at your pale skin, your lack of fluency in te reo Māori, or even an aversion to kaimoana. You may have Read more...
Opinion: What the Fuck Happens Post Panic Masters?
Posted 5:20pm Saturday 7th September 2024 by Madeline O’Leary
For the first 24 years of my life, school was the centre of my universe. First it was primary, then settling (somewhat) into high school, working hard to get into uni, and being set free upon Dunedin as a fresh-faced 18-year-old. Well, as free as St Marg’s allowed anyway. My entire life had Read more...
New Zealand Young Writers Fest: Nau Mai, Haere Mai
Posted 5:16pm Saturday 7th September 2024 by Jamiema Lorimer
Young writers from across Aotearoa, of all writing forms and backgrounds, are coming together in Ōtepoti this weekend for the New Zealand Young Writers Festival. With accessibility at the core of the festival’s kaupapa, all events are free to attend. These events showcase talent and Read more...
Ethical Gossiping: A guide to keeping it clean and not too mean
Posted 4:57pm Saturday 7th September 2024 by Molly Smith-Soppet
Gossip gets a bad rap. It’s often seen as hurtful, harmful and unnecessary. And sure, sometimes a simple “Did you hear…” turns a flatmate into your new campus opp or sends a relationship to its early grave. But not all gossip was created equal and there’s a right and Read more...
Queer Eye for the Gym (Non)Guy: A Beginner’s Guide to the Gym
Posted 7:30pm Sunday 25th August 2024 by Madeline O’Leary
The gym used to fucking terrify me as a gender non-conforming AFAB (assigned female at birth) and proudly masc lesbian. The weights room is every aspect of heteronormative, patriarchal society funnelled into one space: sweaty men, an open space where you can be perceived from every angle, and even Read more...
Opinion: Just Call Me a Slur
Posted 7:04pm Sunday 25th August 2024 by Monty O’Rielly
Content warning: This article discusses queerphobia, including slur calling, microaggressions, and misgendering. If you’re not in a headspace to read this, that’s fine! Read some of the other great articles this week, we understand :) Just about every queer person will have this Read more...
What Queer Stereotype Are You?
Posted 6:32pm Sunday 25th August 2024 by Gryffin Powell
Grab your carabiners and flex those limp wrists! In honour of the Queer Issue, Critic Te Ārohi can look through its crystal ball and determine which mish-mash of gay stereotypes you are. For each question you’ll get a stereotype. Put it together at the end to get your unique Read more...
The Rise and Revitalization of Gay Pop, and why it matters so much
Posted 6:21pm Sunday 25th August 2024 by Madeline O’Leary
Chappell Roan, lesbian icon and pop’s newest darling, said in a recent The Jimmy Fallon show appearance that the inspiration behind her debut album The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess (coincidentally the inspiration of our cover) was that “I just wanted to make something I could Read more...
Opinion: In Defence of BookTok
Posted 5:45pm Saturday 17th August 2024 by Ellie Bennett
As an English major, I am entirely qualified to be the type of person who shits on other people for what they choose to read; to be the type of person who sees BookTok as encouraging ‘the wrong kind of reading’. But I don’t. My decision to major in English stemmed from a love of Read more...
i wrote a diss poem about drunk freshers
Posted 5:24pm Saturday 17th August 2024 by Matilda Rumball-Smith
to the fresher in subs, i’ve forgotten your name. there’s a certain predictability to thursday night bottom shelf wine sprays the room pink crushed cans bloom metallica fresher frenzy emerges clockwork with each drink the savagery of subs makes horrible Read more...
Critic Te Ārohi’s Guide to Arts and Crafts
Posted 5:09pm Saturday 17th August 2024 by Molly Smith-Soppet
Are you sick of your weekends and evenings being filled with despair and boredom? A new hobby or fun flat activity is a good way to build connections with others and yourself. Take this quiz and find out which Critic-approved activities you and your friends should get amongst. Turns out getting your Read more...
Ōtepoti Self-Guided Art Tour
Posted 12:41pm Monday 12th August 2024 by Critic
1. 30 Octagon Hours: 10am – 5pm Daily One of New Zealand’s four major metropolitan art galleries, DPAG was NZ’s first gallery opened in 1884. They house a massive collection of Kiwi artworks, and have many current exhibitions on display. 2. Read more...
Flipped Off: Fighting Internet Addiction with a Nokia Phone
Posted 11:23pm Saturday 10th August 2024 by Madeline O’Leary
Screen addiction. Information overload. Brain rot. Terms that, if you’ve spent any time online, you’re probably familiar with. And, if you’re like me, terms that are probably pretty applicable. It’s not unusual for me to spend upwards of ten hours on my phone per day. Read more...
An Ode to the Frontal Lobe
Posted 11:14pm Saturday 10th August 2024 by Jodie Evans
Twenty-five. A quarter of a century. That age when all your mates stop binge drinking every weekend, and take up running half marathons and crocheting instead. When you begin to feel out of place in the Pint Night line, but are officially safe from Leonardo DiCaprio. And now, according to TikTok, Read more...
Ōtepoti Venue Guide
Posted 3:49pm Sunday 4th August 2024 by Jordan Irvine
Many a night, students turn to the tried and true options of a good time. You either end up at Subs (again) or stay at home watching 123Movies because you don’t have Disney+ (again). Sure, these are the staples of a Saturday night for a reason, but going to live music gigs can be just as fun, Read more...
If You Love Them, Make Them a Playlist
Posted 3:35pm Sunday 4th August 2024 by Ellie Bennett
In first-year, music defined just about everything I experienced – the joy, the heartbreak, the crippling hangovers that had me confined to bed all day chugging electrolytes. Two years later, not much has changed (though I’ve learnt to handle my alcohol better). There’s a song Read more...
Does Ōtepoti Have Pride in its Gender Queer Musicians?
Posted 2:28pm Sunday 4th August 2024 by Jordan Irvine
The Dunedin music scene has been vibrant since the early 1980s. Vibrant, but not diverse. Until the past couple of years, most bands and solo artists have been cis men playing post punk and surf rock. This has led to a lot of gigs in Dunedin full of cis men, either on the bill or in the crowd. So Read more...
The Official Critic Te Ārohi Sex Playlist
Posted 2:21pm Sunday 4th August 2024 by Critic
CRITIC’S BEST SONGS TO HAVE SEX TO: Confidence – Ocean Alley Careless Whisper – George Michael Hungry Eyes – Eric Carmen Just The Two of Us (feat. Bill Withers) – Grover Washington, Jr. Fly Me To the Moon – Frank Sinatra Kiss Me – Read more...
Quiz: What’s Your Fashion Aesthetic?
Posted 8:53pm Sunday 28th July 2024 by Molly Smith-Soppet
1. Sitting in a lecture, your mind begins to wander. What are you thinking about? When your next Afterpay payment is due Planning your New Year’s trip If Madeleine McCann’s family did it Whether your degree will get you a job or you’ll be an overqualified Read more...
Camp on Campus
Posted 7:29pm Sunday 28th July 2024 by Jonathan McCabe
The Link is the students' red carpet. For many, the best part of the day is the ten minutes between lectures as you spy students strutting from class to class. We see you. The Critic paparazzi were at large last week, sent on recon to fill us in with the latest and the greatest trends on campus. Read more...
Club Couture: All Docs, No Crocs
Posted 5:30pm Sunday 28th July 2024 by Jordan Irvine
Upon hearing that Critic staff member Sam Soppett was denied from clubs for wearing jandals and had to spend the rest of his night drinking at The Craic (could be worse), I wanted to push the boundaries of Dunedin town’s unspoken dress code. What are the limits, and why? But more importantly: Read more...
10 Ways to Keep Warm this Winter
Posted 4:38pm Saturday 20th July 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet
The Winter Breatha’s version of a dick-measuring contest is trading war stories of how much the cold weather has fucked us over. But like your dad likes to remind you when showing any discomfort (AKA sign of weakness), “Don’t give me problems, give me answers.” Your mates are Read more...
OUSSC’s Winter Survival Guide
Posted 4:33pm Saturday 20th July 2024 by Otago University Snow Sports Club
Winter is objectively shit in Dunedin. Flats are cold and damp, and icy roads and footpaths do their best to take you out on your walk to the library. Finding your olive oil frozen solid in the flat pantry or the $100 power bill from your flatmate's heaters hardly sparks joy. In a season with Read more...
Pride and Pōhara: Māori cuisine or glorified struggle meals?
Posted 4:23pm Saturday 20th July 2024 by Nā Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)
Let’s cut the crap. Aotearoa New Zealand loves to brag about ‘authentic’ Māori cuisine like hāngī, boil-up, fried bread, and steamed pudding. But the uncomfortable truth is: these aren’t traditional, authentic Māori dishes. They’re struggle meals Read more...
The 23rd Annual Critic Fish & Chip Review
Posted 6:11pm Saturday 13th July 2024 by Hugh Askerud
Winter has come, and the fish and chip gods demand justice! If fish and chips are a summer food, then why do they have all the key components of a hearty winter feed? Potatoes, grease, convenience, shame. Perfect for cold days, or cold journalists in dire need of their yearly sacrifice – this Read more...
TV GUIDE: Developmental Years Edition
Posted 8:33pm Sunday 26th May 2024 by Madeline O’Leary
Back when Netflix was just a mail-order DVD service, TV of the 2000s was less about consumer choice, and more about what mass media could be rubbed against your developing retinas. Picture this. It’s 2007, you’re home sick from school and desperate for entertainment. Windows Read more...
Legitness Jean Fitness
Posted 8:14pm Sunday 26th May 2024 by Jodie Evans
It’s academic weapon season, a time of the year when productivity is key. Everyone’s life is scheduled to the minute in a meticulously planned spreadsheet to the point where a slight deviation is mania-inducing. Like a Te Araroa walker drilling holes in their toothbrush to lighten the Read more...
Campus Blind Items
Posted 7:48pm Sunday 26th May 2024 by Critic
Disclaimer: These blind items have not been verified, and all tea is rumored/alleged ☕ #1 When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, this flighty professor decided he wasn’t so keen on shacking up with his younger postgraduate girlfriend. With only hours before the lockdown rules were enforced, Read more...
Te Rōpū Māori: Te Rito 2024
Posted 11:12pm Sunday 19th May 2024 by Te Rōpū Māori
IZZY - KAIHĀPAI Kia ora koutou, ko Izzy Rewiri-Wharerau tōku ingoa, he uri ahau nō Ngāpuhi me Ngāti Awa. My role within Te Rito 2024 is Kaihāpai, which is the financial liaison of our rōpu. I was raised in Tūrangi, a small town in the central North Read more...
Split-Screen Slideshows
Posted 11:05pm Sunday 19th May 2024 by Monty O’Rielly
As a reformed TikTok addict (getting in as much as 12 hours a day), I know how difficult it can be to concentrate on lectures after years of having our attention spans fried. Sometimes putting lectures on 2x speed just doesn’t cut it, and our malnourished Zoomer attention spans yearn for even Read more...
The Critic Te Ārohi Guide to Second Hand Stores
Posted 10:43pm Sunday 19th May 2024 by Phoebe Lea
Whether you're a fellow thrifter fresh to Dunedin or a third-year who never leaves North D, this is the guide for you. Critic sent our bona-fide fashionista Phoebe to scour the streets, sift through the racks, and explore every nook and cranny to bring you the inside scoop on the best op shops Read more...
Faux-mosexual: Types of guys who trigger your gaydar on a night out
Posted 10:13pm Sunday 19th May 2024 by Jonathan McCabe
It’s slim pickings for a queer man in 2024. The line between straight and queer is increasingly blurred in a sea of tote bags, good fashion, and “bro time” – it’s hard to discern between a potential connection, and a guy who’s merely Metrosexual (but the Read more...
Critic Vs. Writer’s Block
Posted 4:00pm Saturday 11th May 2024 by Critic
It’s that time of year again: the born-and-bred Southlanders are starting to put on layers, all plans are “soft plans”, and everyone’s trying to get their shit together so badly that they’re ending up constipated. Exams are on the horizon, assignments are piling up and Read more...
Technically Legal: Weird Laws You May Not Have Heard Of
Posted 3:47pm Saturday 11th May 2024 by Adam Stitely
Otago students generally have a pretty laxed view on obeying Big Brother. After spending a few years living in North Dunedin, following the intricacies of the less serious side of the law starts to seem like more of a recommendation than an enforced hard line. Some laws, however, are downright Read more...
Opinion: Why We Need the “Sheatha”
Posted 3:42pm Saturday 11th May 2024 by Sam Garry
With the approach of the 130th Capping Show ‘Beezie’, it got the team at Critic Te Ārohi thinking. Every time we reference the stereotypical Otago student, we reach for the term “breatha”. And for good reason: they’re an easy mark with a well-established culture, Read more...
Wandering Womb: The Root of All Your Feminine Rage
Posted 8:33pm Sunday 5th May 2024 by Jodie Evans
Wandering Womb noun a) Spontaneous migration of the uterus within the female body, anywhere from the pelvis to the mind. Characterised by symptoms including but not limited to: Headaches, tremors, fainting, chest pains, abdomen pain, vertigo, sexual desires, intellectual Read more...
Campus Vigilante
Posted 8:07pm Sunday 5th May 2024 by Hunter Jolly
Otago’s campus is rife with debauchery, crawling with scallywags wreaking havoc in the prime time of their youth. Campus Watch, the noble defenders of order on our beloved Uni grounds and student-populated streets, have their work cut out for them. No student would deny their appreciation for Read more...
Opinion: You Suck at Instant Noodles
Posted 6:49pm Sunday 5th May 2024 by Lotto Ramsay
There are but three things in this miserable world that are able to give me any semblance of something akin to joy: soup, frugality, and the quiet bliss of an instruction manual. Basically, the way everyone makes their instant noodles in this goddamn city is ensuring I will be first in line at Read more...
Yours
Posted 10:30pm Friday 26th April 2024 by Lily Stoddart
To whom it may concern, I think I am the perfect candidate for this part-time job because I am reliable, I will always show up on time, and if my car breaks down I will walk. And if my legs break off I will elbow crawl concrete grazes, beer glass abrasions, and all. And if the ground becomes Read more...
Littlest Hall Pets: The Pets of Campus
Posted 9:09pm Friday 26th April 2024 by Monty O’Rielly
Disclaimer: I know these are not all of the animals around! These are the ones we managed to get permission to include, and had time to visit. If there are more I missed, feel free to tell me where to find them, monty@critic.co.nz. Missing your dog back home? Mid-terms getting you down? Need Read more...
As Good as Mould
Posted 7:40pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Jodie Evans
From flocks of seagulls to herds of freshers, beautiful North Dunedin boasts a variety of unique flora and fauna – the most abundant and furtive of which can be found in your very own flat. You guessed it: mould. Your white-toothed suit-wearing landlord only wants you to live amidst the most Read more...
Scenic Sadness: A Critic Te Ārohi Quest
Posted 4:52pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Gryffin Powell
As temperatures plummet, the primal North D urge to “get the fuck away from it all” stirs. Nothing awakens the adventurous spirit quite like a mouldy flat or a situationship ending. Two dudes armed with a Mazda (that they weren’t insured to drive) embarked on an expedition to find Read more...
Botan Bongs
Posted 4:27pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Hugh Askerud
To many, the Botanical Gardens are a short-cut to New World Gardens or a nice place to picnic. To members of the species Stoneri botanis (The Botan Stoner), however, the Gardens are their natural habitat. The Botan Stoner is an abundant species native to the ecosystem of Ōtepoti. This species Read more...
Hide Ya Bong: 10 Ways to Conceal a Bong in Plain Sight
Posted 1:16pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet
Imagine this: halfway through punching a cone after an incredibly difficult week of BCom-broing and midweek pissups, you hear the front door creak. All your flatmates are home, and no one just fucking drops in. Like a deer in Bic-light, you scramble in fear to find a hiding spot for your still-warm Read more...
Drug Trip Simulator
Posted 1:06pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Nicky Patterson
1. Look outside. It’s a beautiful day; the sun's shining, the birds are chirping, and you've got the itch for something special to make today one to remember. Who are you calling? A: The Regular (go to 3) B: The shady guy who your mate’s flatmate’s sister knows (go to Read more...
Steamed the New Stoned?
Posted 12:57pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Hugh Askerud
Dunedin has a pretty notorious drug culture. One drop of our wastewater could show the entirety of Gloriavale a damn good time. And yet, one would be pressed to find a hardcore, “substances are a personality trait” type druggie in even your most bruising Castle St flat these days – Read more...
Firecracker Airfryer Edibles
Posted 12:54pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Lotto Ramsay
Firecrackers are a classic stoner treat, typically made with graham crackers and peanut butter. But due to the exodus of our American staff (good riddance) Critic does not know what graham crackers are – and does not wish to learn. Here they are with biscuits and nutella instead. The weed Read more...
Leith Them Alone: The Families of Leith Street
Posted 10:01pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Harriette Boucher
Leith Street – a key part of the North Dunedin epicentre of Otago’s student life – has long been the home of scarfie flats and student parties. But despite its reputation, Leith is more than just students living out their second-year dreams in New Zealand’s most notorious Read more...
Dancing in the Rain: Baseline Reviewed
Posted 9:54pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Iris Hehir
It’s important to Critic Te Ārohi that our reviews are authentic. To review hall food, we needed to assume the identities of freshers. And to review Baseline, we also had to assume the appropriate state of a festival-goer: dressed a lil’ slutty and with enough vodka Red Bulls in our Read more...
The Lecture Swap
Posted 8:52pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Adam Stitely, Gryffin Powell, Christopher Elder & Monty O’Rielly
Critic Te Ārohi sent two pairs of what we considered to be polar-opposite majors to go to each others’ lectures: History major Adam and Biochemistry & Genetics major Gryffin; Marketing major Christopher and Gender Studies major Monty. It’s like swinging, but with a bit more Read more...
Trans Sex For Dummies
Posted 4:47pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Monty O’Rielly
Disclaimer: This article includes discussion and description of transgender bodies, with anatomical and occasionally gendered language. It mainly focuses on personal experiences of pre-op trans people on HRT, but a lot of this can be applied to trans people at other stages of their Read more...
Animated Affairs
Posted 3:51pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jodie Evans
Let’s talk about the legendary sexual awakening. There are the classics you always hear of: Katy Perry’s ‘I Kissed a Girl’ music video or Joe Jonas emerging, glistening, from the water in Camp Rock. A good number of people recall the moment Miss Honey from Matilda pulls down Read more...
Nonbinary Dirty Talk: 25 Freaky Genderless Naughty Nicknames
Posted 3:14pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jordan Irvine
When you’re genderqueer and don’t use gendered terms, it can be hard to include good dirty talk in your sex life. Sex is fun, intimate, and it should be sexy, right? Dirty talk can quickly become awkward Mad Libs from hell when trying to remove gender from your lexicon (“baby Read more...
Your First Time… According to Wattpad
Posted 3:00pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jodie Evans
When your total bitch of a mother throws your things in a suitcase and tells you to meet your new owners (One Direction, a band you’ve literally never even heard of), the prospect of your emerging sexuality can be daunting, especially when you’re a fictional self-insert who doesn’t Read more...
Between the Sheets: The Realities of Lesbian Sex
Posted 2:54pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Madeline O’Leary
Disclaimer: This article is based on the personal experience of one individual. In this article, lesbian sex is referred to in the context of being between two AFAB (assigned female at birth) partners. Trans lesbians, we love you too. Hello there, queer/questioning/closeted Critic reader! You Read more...
How to know if you’re a breatha (and how you can come to accept it)
Posted 5:36pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Hugh Askerud
Part 1: Develop self-awareness Oh, the breatha. The absolute epitome of what people think of when they think “student”. Like the scarfie of yesteryear, the breatha is everywhere: lurking in your lecture halls, downing Monsters in the library, sifting on your mates. You know them Read more...
Man vs Campus: With Sam Soppet
Posted 5:26pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet
The challenge: seven days, 0.22 square kilometers, one Critic office couch (now my bed). Is it doable? Probably. Will it suck? Absolutely. With the Critic office as my home base and staying within main campus bounds (between Clyde, Cumberland, Albany, Dundas), I aimed to answer the question that Read more...
The Student Cult (Chur)
Posted 5:01pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Lotto Ramsay
I don’t fully understand why I did what I did, but most of it can be chalked up to desperation, autism, and a strange attraction to this godforsaken city. Not all of it, though. There’s something about Dunedin. There’s something about going to the oldest university in our young Read more...
Revolutionary Recipes: How to Season the Rich
Posted 2:43pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Monty O’Rielly
When the revolution comes, the proletariat has been freed, and the wealthy Kiwis that sucked us dry have been rounded up, we will be left with one divisive question – how exactly do we eat the rich? Critic Te Ārohi has a modest proposal on unique ways to prepare our homegrown Read more...
From Hangi to Hupa: Navigating Soul Food in Studentville
Posted 1:25pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)
In the cutthroat world of student survival, where the budget is as tight as our jeans after gaining the infamous fresher five, planning for the week ahead can be a real challenge. Particularly so when it’s your turn to put on a hākari and you’re not sure which dish will impress the Read more...
Aquaman’s Tasteless Tide
Posted 4:19pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)
In an era where diversity is celebrated, Hollywood has found a new fascination – move over superheroes and intergalactic battles, because Māori culture has become the latest trend in the global entertainment industry. But are we witnessing a genuine celebration of diversity, or is it just Read more...
Fringe Festival is Here and It's Time to Show You Care About Saving Dunedin’s Venues
Posted 4:14pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Jordan Irvine
The hour has come for everyone to put their money where their mouth is. Look, we all love the idea of saving Dunedin venues – as evidenced by local movements, posters, and fundraisers – it’s just that we don’t seem to love actually getting up from behind our keyboards and Read more...
The Official Dunedin Old Test
Posted 3:36pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Lotto Ramsay
Have you ever… Bailed on Pint Night? Hosted a potluck/dinner party? Bought a $14+ bottle of wine? Brought just a 6-pack on a night out? Refrained from drinking because your tummy hurt? Left a BYO basically sober? Purchased a textbook (and used it)? Declined free Read more...
Which Countdown rat are you?
Posted 4:19pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Jodie Evans
Everyone and their mother are talking about the Countdown rats - those “unsanitary” intruders scurrying across the deli salad and whipping up an ODT storm. But have you stopped to consider how the rats feel? Perhaps each rat has its own complex life, just like yours. They, too, drink way Read more...
Flo-Week Theme Review: 2024
Posted 4:04pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Lotto Ramsay
Monday: Back to School (Courtyard) Flo-Week opened with a strong start at Courtyard, running the tried and true ‘Back to School’ theme. The look book for the night was composed of pleated skirts and unironed white collars, with a fair sprinkling of kit from local high Read more...
‘Almost Pumping’: Dunedin Surf on Film
Posted 3:33pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Hugh Askerud
Surf culture in Ōtepoti has always operated in an uneasy tandem with the student community. When a gaggle of students sputter into view of the beach, most local surfers roll their eyes and call it a day, or else begrudgingly share their waves with often very good (if greedy) student surfers. We Read more...
Homie-Eroticism: All the gay shit breathas do
Posted 4:05pm Monday 19th February 2024 by Lotto Ramsay
Dunedin is one of the few places on earth where you’ll hear the f-slur casually used by straight breathas who are mere hours away from drinking out of each other’s nutsacks. I posit that Breathadom creates a unique space for playful, casual male intimacy that remains socially Read more...
Nut Up or Shut Up: Why Halls Should Go Vegetarian
Posted 4:00pm Monday 19th February 2024 by Fox Meyer
The way halls work right now, with opt-in veggies but obligate meats, is completely backwards. I don’t care if you keep eating meat in your day-to-day life. It’s kinda cringe, but ultimately, the emissions from one private jet flight outweigh any of your dietary choices. So I can live Read more...
C'mon, John, Just Donate to the Pūteketeke
Posted 11:04am Thursday 16th November 2023 by Fox Meyer
Is a bird in the hand really worth two on a billboard? John Oliver doesn’t care, because he’s got more money than you. John Oliver joked on his show that there’s nothing more American than influencing elections, and that may well be true (I, myself, have indulged). Read more...
Scoop McNeilly: 15 years covering student affairs
Posted 12:03pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Harriette Boucher
Through all the riots and revolutions that Dunedin students have staged, Stuff reporter Hamish McNeilly has seen it all. Fortunately for us, he was sober the whole time, allowing him to recall every last detail. Hamish is the sole Stuff reporter in Dunedin and a former Otago Read more...
Planning Your Course to Make the Best Apology Video
Posted 12:00pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Peyton Black
Are you having trouble with your online image? Finding that your comment section is more shame than fame? If you’ve done something to get yourself cancelled it can be hard to navigate the digital experience. That’s why a tried-and-true method to cleanse yourself of all wrongdoing is the Read more...
The Dummy's Guide to Travelling to Hawai’i
Posted 11:56am Sunday 8th October 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine
Welcome to the Dummy's Guide to Travelling to Hawai’i, where we'll show you how to turn a dream vacation into a nightmare of confusion, frustration, and inefficiency. Who needs simplicity and relaxation when you can make everything needlessly complex? It's time to discuss the Read more...
Opinion: Fuck It, Let’s Privatise the Business School
Posted 11:54am Sunday 8th October 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan
Well, here we are. It’s the final issue of Critic for 2023, and my final issue forever. I’ve been lucky enough to spend three glorious, tumultuous, unhinged years writing for this publication, and now the time has come for my final rampage. And to that I say: fuck it, let’s Read more...
Opinion: The person you need is Nanny McPhee
Posted 11:49am Sunday 8th October 2023 by Hugh Askerud
Kicking someone out of your flat is a shitty experience, particularly when it’s a byproduct of your own shitty behaviour. Though it’s usually justified, the experience nonetheless leaves scars on the flat. Conversations are left in flux; a uniting, common enemy is lost; rent must be Read more...
Local Candidates Debate: A Summary
Posted 10:48am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Hugh Askerud
With all major parties (bar ACT, surprisingly enough) wanting a slice of the student voting pie, OUSA in conjunction with POLSA hosted a high-octane debate in the union hall at 1pm last Wednesday. The result was largely underwhelming, as candidates showed the utmost respect for one another in Read more...
TOP Leader Raf Manji: On Despondency, Political Potential, and Progressivism
Posted 10:44am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan
The Opportunities Party Leader Raf Maji is sort of like that international student who showed up in your Geology class one afternoon: you aren’t too sure who he is or where he came from, but he seems pretty cool and is giving all the other popular kids a run for their money. While TOP has yet Read more...
Planning Your Course to Make the Best Apology Video
Posted 10:43am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Peyton Black
Are you having trouble with your online image? Finding that your comment section is more shame than fame? If you’ve done something to get yourself cancelled it can be hard to navigate the digital experience. That’s why a tried-and-true method to cleanse yourself of all wrongdoing is the Read more...
An Interview with Your New Student President, Keegan Wells
Posted 10:39am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Critic
Keegan Wells successfully won the presidency in a close race against Mr. No Confidence. We were able to sit down with the local figure while she wasn’t busy chasing snowfalls or ranting about atmospheric rivers and over-tourism. As you’ll see, the conversation immediately became quite Read more...
Antisocial Media
Posted 10:32am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Critic
by Pippa Richards, Dom Piceno, Maddi Butler, and Ruby Chadd This article was written by students from MANT252, a paper designed to develop future leaders. As a part of this, they’re tasked with leading a social action project with relevant stakeholders, and this group requested Read more...
Go Big or (Don’t) Go Home
Posted 10:03pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Harriette Boucher
It’s late. You’re several standards deep and, in your quest to feel something even remotely close to human affection, you’ve gone home with a stranger you just met. Deeds are done, towels are wiped, snoozes are hastily had. And then comes the cold light of day, when you must Read more...
Otago Degrees and Their Favourite Sex Positions:
Posted 10:02pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Anna Robertshawe
No one asked, but here it is. A breakdown of Otago degrees and their favourite sex positions. Use it well. Using a mix of questionable quantitative and qualitative research methods, Critic Te Ārohi has investigated the correlations between what degrees people take and their Read more...
What sex toy are you?
Posted 9:51pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Critic
How often do you nap? I’m not a toddler. I micro-nap by blinking rapidly, when required Can it even be called napping when I didn’t get up in the morning? Only when my partner does Very rarely, and usually in jeans, but when I do I lose all sense of time and Read more...
RED-S
Posted 12:46pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Hugh Askerud
Imagine you’re an athlete, spending your days in the shell of a constant migraine, feeling immediately tired upon waking with a full day of training and classes ahead of you. This was Tom’s reality for almost a year as he grappled with RED-S, also known as Relative Energy Deficiency in Read more...
Winning Streak
Posted 12:28pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Hugh Askerud
Saturday, August 26th. A cool breeze whistled through Forsyth Barr Stadium, carrying the jeers of Otago and Southland fans. It was a day few could predict, but all would remember; it was the day of the streaker. The streaker who lived. Long before this fateful day, nine young men set Read more...
Winston Peters: In His Reputation Era
Posted 12:24pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Fox Meyer
Winston Peters is the stuff of legend in the New Zealand Government. He’s the only diplomat that’s ever been invited to North Korea. He’s also the longest-serving MP, entering Parliament in 1979 - before the rise of neoliberalism or the inception of the internet - during a time of Read more...
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